My wife offered to hold it for me. We'll see how that works.
So far, I've loosened the glow plugs, thinking I'll want to turn the engine at some point, removed the valve cover, and cleaned a lot. Mostly cleaned. I didn't know the engine was blue. I'm about to see if I missed something in the manual I have on what to do next. I have guesses, but not a head gasket.
If money were no object, something like this could be fun: https://www.jegs.com/i/JEGS+Performance+Products/555/3010/10002/-1?&mrkgcl=1239&mrkgadid=3338000898&adpos=1o3&creative=330726016703&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&jegspromo=nonbrand&gclid=CjwKCAjw7anqBRALEiwAgvGgm83wxtvXXlPrko0OCznorX9seek4oA4XIQFKRseUH_9Zr8H373bSrRoCyacQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
damn that long link. bad millenial web-scripting.