Komeuppance Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Yelm, Tumwater, Enumclaw, Lacey... you know who you are...http://dangerousminds.net/comments/man_admits_to_having_sex_with_over_700_cars Man admits to having sex with over 700 cars 10.14.201406:20 amTopics:AmusingSexTags:Edward Smithcar sex Edward Smith, a 63-year-old man from Yelm, Thurston County, Washington, told a live morning TV show that he had made love to over 700 vehicles, including Mustangs, luxury Jaguars and even an attack helicopter. Smith made the admission on the British family television show This Morning, telling hosts Phillip Schofield and Amanda Holden that he was a mechaphile—someone who is sexually attracted to machines—and prefers making love to motors than women. Smith said he had sex with vehicles since first being attracted to his neighbor’s Volkswagon Beetle when he was fourteen, when he was tempted to give the vehicle a “gentle caress.”: “It has to do with the body itself. I’ve not been attached to any sort of penetration, but petting and hugging and feeling the body. I like feeling the satisfaction—masturbation—that’s done with the car, next to it. “When I hold them in my arms, I feel an energy that comes from them. There’s a very deep love.” Smith admitted he had difficulties in forming relationships with women and had only ever had one girlfriend “by some chance” in San Francisco in the early 1970s. However, he found the relationship unsatisfying. Edward now has a long term sex partner that’s still… er… driving him wild, “Vanilla”—another VW Beetle that he bought in 1982. “I first met her before I got her and then had the local Jehovah’s Witness driving around in one. There was something about that white ‘74 Beetle, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her,” he said. “On my own private property is where we get mostly intimate. I’m very respectful not to be seen in public. I greet her every morning along with my truck Ginger.” Smith’s obsession of pulling up to the bumper (baby), and driving it in between tickles the Brits as he has previously appeared in the Daily Mirror last October, where he ‘fessed up to having sex with thousands of cars: “Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars.” Then he claimed he was in an “open relationship” with his VW Vanilla and makes “love to his 1973 Opal GT called Cinnamon and a 1193 Ford Ranger called Splash.” But Vanilla is ‘the one’ and Edward likes to woo the white-coloured hatchback with picnics and wine-fuelled dates. He added: “When I hold Vanilla in my arms there’s a powerful energy that comes from her. I would say it is extremely satisfying but at times a little melancholy because I know she cannot talk to me. But overall I know she feels what I feel and its intense.” He added: “If anything was to happen to her I would be more than heartbroken.” Smith also admitted in October 2013 that he was occasionally tempted to stray but added: “I know better now than to pursue other people’s private property without permission. I will not deny that I look at other cars on TV or at shows and still get those old impulses and desires - but those were the early days. Now I want to settle down with Vanilla.” He added: “There’s something about her that I can’t fully express on an emotional level except it’s very powerful and very sincere. I’m never ashamed or awkward in my heart. I have never questioned myself - I just love her.” Well, that’s okay then…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9UHi7uQn8GU I'll think twice next time I drive through your neck of the woods. -Robert Quote Link to comment
Chuck Most Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 As far as Enumclaw... I thought people only banged horses there? Or rather, were banged by horses. With fatal results... 1 Quote Link to comment
HRH Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 I hope he tries to have sex with a car and it accidentally runs him over. What a fucking fruitcake. 2 Quote Link to comment
russaroll Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 I hope he tries to have sex with a car and it accidentally runs him over. What a fucking fruitcake. Oh shit. I loled Quote Link to comment
q-tip Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Why would any one be surprised by this, people are weird.....(and for once spanaway wasn't mentioned!!) Quote Link to comment
510freak Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Why would any one be surprised by this, people are weird.....(and for once spanaway wasn't mentioned!!) Tyler!..is there something you need to tell us? 1 Quote Link to comment
q-tip Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Don't look at me man, Naner is the one from tumwater... Quote Link to comment
510freak Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Butt...you said and for once spanaway wasn't mentioned 1 Quote Link to comment
q-tip Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 As in whenever a story like that comes up span away get mentioned somewhere along the line, being a bunch of "good fer nuthin mouth breathers" according to some 1 Quote Link to comment
tr8er Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Enthusiast 4 Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 I have a question about having sex with a car.... ... why the fuck wasn't this stupid shit in the Insomniacs thread????? 3 Quote Link to comment
Chuck Most Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 My guess? Insomniacs is for general fuckery, whereas this matter is a very specific type of fuckery. Maybe. 2 Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 XXXXXX Gingers..... 2 Quote Link to comment
Chuck Most Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 I thought about posting that pic, but I was afraid the balls might get me in trouble. :angel: Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Not even sure doing that qualifies you to have any. 1 Quote Link to comment
RedBanner Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Gingers..... I almost fergot about your chrystler rampage mike. The one time I log in. Im having flash backs and flash forwards, neither are pleasent. Quote Link to comment
tr8er Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Yeah, good timing Banner Quote Link to comment
bananahamuck Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Some turbo fanboi banged this one alright . :rofl: :rofl: 1 Quote Link to comment
danfiveten Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 What happend to just having sex in a car..think this guy got taught wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment
510freak Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 My guess? Insomniacs is for general fuckery, whereas this matter is a very specific type of fuckery. Maybe. That was moist Quote Link to comment
Chuck Most Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 That was moist Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 XXXXXX Gingers..... Photo removed by request... or... RedBanner Made Me Do It Thanks Adam, I agonized over that picture all night as to what to do about it, or just leave it. The thought of your 1200 being cut off of you or burnt lips is just too much. 2 Quote Link to comment
bananahamuck Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 You should have just done what those hypocrics do,,, hide it from those not logged in ( most likely their wives cuz they are scared of them) to seem holier than thou. Yeah mom ,, i'm just looking at cars and such. AND Yes i spelled it wrong,, hypodicks just sounded wrong somehow 3 Quote Link to comment
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