Daily Randomness.........Back to Randomness........................................

[RatVonDude]

I dated a  lady about ten years ago that would slam on her breaks when coming to a group of birds.

There is no way you can hit one unless it is sick or injured. Just another little thing the DMV left out of the handbook next to not driving with the front hood up.

 

Owls are badass

[paradime]

Not all together true in my experience RVD.

 

Cruz'n down the highway in my company van and just as I'm passing under an overpass a pigeon flies out from the girders and drops a little too low. As you'd expect the bird makes a quick upward push and just cleared to top of the windshield when suddenly we hear a loud PAINK and I see a cloud of feathers in the rearview. Little shit would have made it if we didn't have a CB antenna. Done done done duuuuuuuuun.

[smoke]

Speaking of driving with the hood up, I gave that a whirl the other day. I had been messing around with that old Ford pickup, I was going down the road and it seemed to run a bit 'soggy'. I then remembered that I had unhooked the vacuum advance from the distributor and forgot to put it back on. No big deal, I pulled over to a wide spot, opened the hood, hooked it back up, closed the hood and took off. Now, many cars and trucks have sort of a safety latch that is sort of a double catch. There is closed tight, then there is not closed tight, but still not going anywhere. WELL, this truck does not have that safety deal, you are supposed to be smart enough to close it all the way to start with aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, everyone for the last 43 years had been smart enough to close it all the way...but, I'm special.

 

Seemed like it closed, took off, hit about 60 mph and the it came at the windshield like a fuckin rpg. I mean, there was zero warning or flapping around, it went from shut to against the roof in a millisecond. Fast enough that I did not think "oh shit, the hood", it was just more like "SHIT!" and an odd ducking motion that would have done no good at all unless there was a second hood coming at me.

 

I stuck my head out the side window like a lab, got it pulled over without hitting anything and got the hood smashed down on there good enough that it would not happen again on the way home. It fucked up the hood a little, but not nearly as bad as I would have thought. Small crease where it hit the roof and it pulled the arms clean out of the fender wells (also see rust). So, that was exciting.

[q-tip]

Not all together true in my experience RVD.

 

Cruz'n down the highway in my company van and just as I'm passing under an overpass a pigeon flies out from the girders and drops a little too low. As you'd expect the bird makes a quick upward push and just cleared to top of the windshield when suddenly we hear a loud PAINK and I see a cloud of feathers in the rearview. Little shit would have made it if we didn't have a CB antenna. Done done done duuuuuuuuun.

But a pigeon is not going to have the brain capacity to know what to do in any situation really. Now if you said you hit a crow I would be much more impressed, I've only seen that once and it was a young bird with out much flight time

[smoke]

I can take out a crow....................as long as I'm driving an 8 second street car.

[RatVonDude]

Not all together true in my experience RVD.

 

Cruz'n down the highway in my company van and just as I'm passing under an overpass a pigeon flies out from the girders and drops a little too low. As you'd expect the bird makes a quick upward push and just cleared to top of the windshield when suddenly we hear a loud PAINK and I see a cloud of feathers in the rearview. Little shit would have made it if we didn't have a CB antenna. Done done done duuuuuuuuun.

one less pigeon is a blessing in disguise. Classic case of sonar losing to radio.

[RatVonDude]

But a pigeon is not going to have the brain capacity to know what to do in any situation really. Now if you said you hit a crow I would be much more impressed, I've only seen that once and it was a young bird with out much flight time

crows have the intellect of an average u.c Berkeley graduate, except they can fish, talk shit, and antagonize like nobodys biz.

 

every now and then there is a crow party by my house. They somehow all know when to meet.

[JoeCool]

Shoot, speaking of bad luck, I worked for Walmart in 1995 as an overnight truck unloader/stocker. I dropped a case of door mirrors, broke all 20. I think I am still reaping the bad luck today! I figure I am in for a lifetime of bad luck, and probably pass it down to my kid's lifetime as well!

[smoke]

Shoot, speaking of bad luck, I worked for Walmart 

[hobospyder]

Yeah I think I'll avoid working for Wal-Mart some more thank you.

 

 

Don't know how many mirrors I've broken but it's gotten to the point where they cancel themselves out I think

[Sealik]

As the crow flies........just about pasted one today in the 510 

They're pretty quick on their feet so to speak, but I don't think he realized how fast I was going.... :lol:

Hit the brakes.....launched the dog into the back of the seats........swerved.............mumbled expletive.

 

I think that little fuck was smiling at me

[hobospyder]

If I were ever to have a bird for a pet it would either be a crow or a raven. Them are some sadistic bastards

[bananahamuck]

Speaking of driving with the hood up, I gave that a whirl the other day. I had been messing around with that old Ford pickup, I was going down the road and it seemed to run a bit 'soggy'. I then remembered that I had unhooked the vacuum advance from the distributor and forgot to put it back on. No big deal, I pulled over to a wide spot, opened the hood, hooked it back up, closed the hood and took off. Now, many cars and trucks have sort of a safety latch that is sort of a double catch. There is closed tight, then there is not closed tight, but still not going anywhere. WELL, this truck does not have that safety deal, you are supposed to be smart enough to close it all the way to start with aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, everyone for the last 43 years had been smart enough to close it all the way...but, I'm special.

 

Seemed like it closed, took off, hit about 60 mph and the it came at the windshield like a fuckin rpg. I mean, there was zero warning or flapping around, it went from shut to against the roof in a millisecond. Fast enough that I did not think "oh shit, the hood", it was just more like "SHIT!" and an odd ducking motion that would have done no good at all unless there was a second hood coming at me.

 

I stuck my head out the side window like a lab, got it pulled over without hitting anything and got the hood smashed down on there good enough that it would not happen again on the way home. It fucked up the hood a little, but not nearly as bad as I would have thought. Small crease where it hit the roof and it pulled the arms clean out of the fender wells (also see rust). So, that was exciting.

 

 

What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine boy?    Well WE got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!

 

 

[smoke]

No, most of the shit that happens to me is a direct result of something stupid I did.

[paradime]

X2 for me.

[bananahamuck]

[q-tip]

If I were ever to have a bird for a pet it would either be a crow or a raven. Them are some sadistic bastards

My great grand parents neighbors had one that could talk, is it has this really scarry ass laugh too. It would say: "here kitty kitty", then it would laugh. I never saw this bird when I was little I only heard it.

[paradime]

I think nanner is crying out for help. 

[q-tip]

I think nanner is crying out for help.

 

Looks that way, but can't be sure.

[paradime]

Now that you mention it, this could be some existential catharsis performance art thing.... Nah. Dude's looped I'm pulling the 5150.

[Ranman72]

well I got a couple bird stories for ya 

two days in a row I was driving down the same street in the same place and had a duck fly into my tuck both days 

first one hit the top of the door/cab area and the second hit the roof just above the front windshield 

BOTH SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME 

then one day I showed up for work( A CONSTRUCTION SITE) and accross the street on a fence I noticed an owl when I pulled in

2 hours later the owl was sitting in the same place , so I went to check it out

the owl had flown into a bob wire fence and his eye was ripped and he was stuck on the barbed wire

so I grabbed my gloves and tin snips and cut him free

he fell to the ground and hobbled over by a tree at the end of the day I went to check on him and he was gone

so I saved an owl who now has one eye

it was weird being able to be that close to one and him being helpless to go anywhere till I cut him loose  

[hobospyder]

Poor thing. Barb wire is some nasty stuff

[datzenmike]

Some where there's a fat cat...

 

 

I picked up a stunned Bald Eagle once. I was terrified it was going to go postal on me for doing that, but he was wandering around in traffic..

[Sealik]

I was attacked by a squirrel...used my forehead as a landing pad to make his exit after I opened a gate.

He died the next day

 

Hmmmmm...feel like some nuts

[hobospyder]

I knew a guy from Hawaii that had never seen a squirrel before he got to Texas. Almost caught one from the stories he and the guys he was always with. Was gonna mail it home for some reason