fastdadd Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other. Quote Link to comment
fastdadd Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 A group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a> bridge, so they stopped.> The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says,> "What are you doing?"> > "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.> > While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want> to miss an opportunity either, so he asked... "Well, before> you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"> > So she does... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss.> > After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best> kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could> be famous . Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?"> > "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl........".> > The authorities think she may have been pushed. 1 Quote Link to comment
fastdadd Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 So a man walks into Donna's Ranch and asks for the biggest, blackest woman they have.The guy at the desk says he may have what he wants and sends him to a room.He goes in and sees this woman as dark as they come and around six feet tall and 450 pounds."Perfect" he said."Take your clothes off and bend over. Try to grab your ankles". She does and he walks behind her. "Nice". He walks infront of her, "Look up at me".She does.He walked around her a few times looking at her. "Perfect" He says. "Get your clothes on".He put a couple hundred on the table and she says "What kinda fetish is that?". "Ain't no fetish" He says " I just bought a black Peterbilt and wanted to know what it would look like with pink fenders". Quote Link to comment
Ratwagon1600 Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 Whats the difference between a chickpea, and a lentil? . . . . . . . . . . . . .I wouldnt pay a girl $200 to lentil on my face....... 1 Quote Link to comment
datsunfreak Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 So a man walks into Donna's Ranch and asks for the biggest, blackest woman they have. The guy at the desk says he may have what he wants and sends him to a room. He goes in and sees this woman as dark as they come and around six feet tall and 450 pounds. "Perfect" he said. "Take your clothes off and bend over. Try to grab your ankles". She does and he walks behind her. "Nice". He walks infront of her, "Look up at me". She does. He walked around her a few times looking at her. "Perfect" He says. "Get your clothes on". He put a couple hundred on the table and she says "What kinda fetish is that?". Did you forget the punchline? Or did I miss something? :rofl: Quote Link to comment
littlejason Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 Yeah. These jokes are too advanced. Quote Link to comment
darin620 Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Why is there a string on the end of a tampon? To floss your teeth when your done eating. Quote Link to comment
fastdadd Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Did you forget the punchline? Or did I miss something? :rofl: its was a test...went back and fixed it but here is the rest..... "Ain't no fetish" He says " I just bought a black Peterbilt and wanted to know what it would look like with pink fenders". 1 Quote Link to comment
DaBlist Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 Two space aliens land on earth outside of a closed gas station. They approach the gas pump and proclaim "take me to your leader"! Of course the gas pump doesn't do anything. The aliens proclaim once again "take me to your leader!" to no avail. Frustrated, one of the aliens pulls out his ray gun and points it at the gas pump. "Take me to your leader or I will blast you!" At this point the other alien runs off into the distance. And as you can imagine, the gas pump doesn't budge so the agitated alien fires his ray gun. A Great blast sends the alien sailing off into the sky landing next to his buddy. Slightly dazed the alien asks his friend "how did you know that was going to happen? ". His friend replies "I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen but I was pretty sure you shouldn't mess with someone who can wrap his dick around himself twice and stick it in his ear" 6 Quote Link to comment
rabbcan Posted August 19, 2016 Report Share Posted August 19, 2016 Why did Michael Jackson call the singing group Boyz II Men? He thought it was a delivery service. Quote Link to comment
Chuck Most Posted December 6, 2016 Report Share Posted December 6, 2016 An old man was sitting at the kitchen table with his teenage grandson, quietly eating breakfast and flipping through the pages of the newspaper. Upon glancing at the weather section, the grandfather announced, ‘Looks like it’s going to be raining cats and dogs this weekend, the roads are going to be a mess.’ The grandson, unimpressed with his grandfather’s attempt at small-talk replied, exasperated, ‘Ugh, tell me something I don’t know!’ The grandfather folds down his paper and says, ‘Okay… Your grandmother’s asshole can take my whole fist. 4 Quote Link to comment
tr8er Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 Bump bump bump Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 Me: Wanna here a joke? You: Yes. Me: There's 3 black roosters sitting on a fence post. How many feet do they have, all together? You: ? Six?? Me: Yes. How many eyes do they have? You: ? Six?? Me: Yes. How many tails do they have? You: ? Three? Me: Yes. Me: A white cat jumps up on the fence. How many teeth does it have? You: ??? I don't know??? Me: How come you know so much about Black Cock, and nothing about White Pussy!!!!!! Oh snappp!!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting in a car together, and drive past two kids. The Priest says, "Lets go fuck those two boys" The Rabbi says, "Out of what???" 3 Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 The farmer has 30 cows, 28 chickens. How many didnt? ^ This is a play on words, and doesnt translate well on typing. Then answer is 10. Quote Link to comment
G-Duax Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 How many engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to hold the bub, 2 to turn the step ladder. How long does it take them? 2 weeks. They had to come up with a cad drawing so they could figure out which way to turn the ladder. Quote Link to comment
tr8er Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 The farmer has 30 cows, 28 chickens. How many didnt? ^ This is a play on words, and doesnt translate well on typing. Then answer is 10. Great joke. I don't get it though Quote Link to comment
paradime Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 How many Software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem. How many social justice warriors does it take to change a light bulb? Why should the light bulb change, is it because it's not white enough for you? How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? So what I'm hearing is, you want to change that light bulb... Hmm, very interesting. How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh never mind, I'm fine... I'll just sit here in the dark. Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 28= Twenty ate. How many didnt? :) Again, it doesn't translate well through typing, but will stump the shit out of most people. 1 Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland." The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!" The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am." The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town." The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course." ADVERTISEMENT The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964." The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self." About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight." The guy asks, "Why do you say that?" "The Murphy twins are drunk again." Source: Facebook / Jokes In Ndebele Extreme 4 Quote Link to comment
Dolomite Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 Edit: didnt notice different version of same joke posted above Quote Link to comment
Dolomite Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 I’ve been telling jokes for years but I’ve only written one myself. What’s the difference between sarah palin’s mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina. Quote Link to comment
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